That's right. I finally have a name for the damn thing. It's really too long and not nearly catchy enough, but I just like it. I like what's behind it and I just think it fits my concept well. So, unless I come up with something better, this is the name I'm using.
Are you ready? Drum roll please...
A Hollow Rumble of Wings
With a hollow rumble of wings, with a movement of darkness on darkness,And we know that the hills and the trees, the distant panoramaAnd the bold imposing facade are all being rolled away- T.S. Eliot, Four Quartets
What do you think? Please let me know.
17 comments:
I kind of just left you a barrage of comments, but I guess it doesn't matter. I actually really like that title. It sounds more like a book title, but I think it'd work well for a game.
I LOVE barrages of comments!!! Thank you very much! Please read more and comment more.
I agree, it does sound like a book title. I like it very much. My concerns are: 1.) Too long 2.) Too obscure. Not sure if my audience will be familiar with Eliot. I do plan on using quotes from his work (and others) throughout my book.
I'm personally not a huge fan of that title. Why, you ask?
1) The title is a relatively obscure reference to a TS Eliot poem. The depth that you might actually have in titling your project as such is lost on the vast majority of your audience.
2) In direct relation to my first point here, it's like you're naming a myspace band. It's obscure, long, sort of catchy, and hip because you're one of the few people that actually knows what it means. I'm not saying that this is why you chose to name the project A Hollow Rumble of Wings, but I'm sure you can see what I mean.
3) The title is far too long. If it were to be published, anyone that ever says its name is going to shorten it to something else, so the above meaning is lost anyway. Hell, Hunter: The Vigil and Vampire: The Masquerade get reduced to just the first words, and for christ's sake, they're only three words long. I would say to effectively title the project you're looking at a three word cap, ie. Dungeons and Dragons, Mage: The Awakening, Hack Master, Swashbuckling Adventures, D20 Modern, Shadowrun.
4) The title tells me nothing about the game unless I absolutely know the source, and even then still very little. So while my first three points are all strong enough, drawing upon elements of the first, I pose that the title does not provide a hook for the random passerby or browser of the RPG section. I'm far more likely to pick up something that screams horror than I am to pick up something that has a title that seems to have been misfiled one or two sections away from its proper home.
This is all just my opinion, mind you, so I'm willing to accept that I'm wrong here.
@Ryan - You're not wrong at all. Wasn't trying to be hip, but pretty mush everything else you bring up were already concerns I had with the name. This is why I'm posting this stuff. Feedback is like gold. I'm definitely not looking for blind pats on the back.
Which brings me back to the title as my biggest sticking point right now. Hell, I thought the mechanics were going to be the hardest thing to write, but I'm a good way through the character creation chapter and only had one sticking point, which I unstuck with a single bit of advice. No, the name of this damn thing has been the most painful exercise so far.
That said, I don't think the title needs to explicitly spell out exactly what to expect from the game, but it should give an idea. I don't want to be in the "Noun & Noun" school or the "Noun: The Adverb" school. I'm basically looking for a 1-3 word title that is evocative and fairly easy to remember (obscure things can fit this mold, like Maschine Zeit). Snapper sent me suggestions all night/morning, but nothing is really calling out to me yet.
Somehow double posted, sorry about that, man.
@Darren - I certainly agree that the 'Noun and Noun' or 'Noun: Article Noun' naming has become entirely over done. Hell, I don't think there's a White Wolf product that's not 'Noun: Article Noun.' That said, however, that evocative title you're looking for needs to catch my eye and relate to your genre without having to bust out a book of poetry, encyclopedia, or dictionary.
I'm with Ryan on this one, Darren. From a marketing standpoint, the title needs needs to be evocative of the content/experience without being unclear. Think of those bizarre commercials that seem to have nothing to do with the product being advertised. That's what your proposed name is.
The problem with a title that only a few people will "get" is that it is a product that only a few people will get.
The title would be great as a subtitle, a sourcebook, chronicle, or adventure title, or a as a quote within the system books, but is deadly poison as a system/product title.
In fact, screw the title! Finish the system, generate content (starter chronicle, etc.) playtest the fuck out of it, and THEN consider things like titles, when and if publication becomes imminent.
@Ryan - As I said, I agree that it's too long and not self-descriptive enough.
@Cameron - See my replies to Ryan. And I figure if I start coming up with working titles now, then by the time I need one, I may have burned through a dozen of them, but hopefully I'll have found the final one. And believe me, I'm writing like crazy.
I find myself wanting a more evocative title. Especially not digging the words "a" and "of".
I think the most important word here is "hollow". Maybe just use this or this and one other word, like "Hollow (something)".
Kind of like a two-word-poem.
I personally prefer titles that help describe the game as well, that way you kind of get an image of what the game is like without actually playing it. I might not be getting the reference, but 'a hollow rumble of wings' doesn't remind me of the awesome world you've described thus far.
In case you don't have enough suggestions, 'hollow ambiance', 'anchored wings', 'a devoid departure'... guess that's all. I kind of like the word play with anchor, and I just noticed ADD. Anyway, good luck.
Nice, you're good at that.
Definitely with Jay on that one.
What I'm talking about is a liminal world, akin to the Twilight Zone, The Wood Between Worlds, Silent Hill, Ravenloft, Limbo, Purgatory, etc.
Some new thoughts: The Dark Shift, Dark Crossing, or Dark Passages.
Good thoughts guys! Keep 'em coming!
... are you completely set in your terminology for the different actions in the world? Maybe change "shift" to something that fits into the title somehow. Or have a fixed NPC or element in the story that alludes to the title in a significant way. Say, "The Hollow Wings", and then the "shift" can be described instead as a sort of "flight".
The only other term that fits the transition as I see it is "slide" but that would evoke "Sliders" which is a tv series with a similar concept (as far as traveling between worlds). Hmmm... passage and shift are synonyms. And... Slip is a synonym of slide. Not sure if that gets me any closer, but it does present some avenues of though.
Slip/slide = slip and slide. Not a fan. I, for some reason, like words like "fluctuation" or "permutation" for transitions like that, but they aren't direct synonyms or anything. I like the idea of just accidentally happening upon another world/level, or doing one thing that causes a long string of random events that lands you somewhere you've never been.
@Carmen - Hence my problem. Unfortunately, words like fluctuation or permutation are not catchy in a title either. So I still search.
Maybe the association between words is not so important. For instance: "Hollow Shift"; have nothing to do with each other, yet shifting is a major part of the game, and hollow describes everything in the game. Maybe it makes less sense as a phrase, but it's very catchy and makes sense as a title (although, perhaps, too Hollywood-esque).
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