Selling Them The Farm: Growing NPC's With Personality

Let me warn you again.  This is going to be another post about tabletop rpg's.  If you want something else to read, how about the 10-year deal that Bungie and Activision just signed.  Take THAT Infinity Ward!  Or, the always incredible Gameplaywright take on the NEW Sam Fisher for all you Splinter Cell fans.  If you like that, take a look at the Gamasutra article.  We'll be right here when you get back.

So, you're a tabletop gamer.  I'm a tabletop gamer.  You run games.  I run games.  Call it DMing (I like that because of my awesome initials), GMing (also works with my initials), Storytelling, Refereeing, whatever.  You're the guy behind the screen (even if you don't use a screen).  No matter how often you get together for gaming, everybody pulls out their dice and character sheets and looks at you.  No pressure.  After all, you've got a great adventure planned for the session and you're ready to rock 'n' roll!

Except, when they ignore your hook and do something you hadn't planned for.

Once, the party was out in the woods, looking for the ruins of an old monastery where is was rumored that the monks had all gone crazy and turned on each other.  After wandering through dense undergrowth for hours without a lead, the parts stumbles onto an old trail.  Suddenly, a bent old man in tattered robes appears out of the trees some ways down that trail and begins shouting gibbering nonsense at the party before scampering off into the woods down the old trail.  How did the players respond?  They ignored it, and the trail, and kept moving in the same direction with a collective shrug.  They eventually found the place, and realized that the trail the old man disappeared down would have led them there with much less effort.  This incident led to my players joking for years that they needed the spell "Detect Plot Device."

We've all had it happen.  And there are a million articles out there for advice on what to do when it happens.  This isn't necessarily one of them.

Since I run mostly modern horror-themed games, when the players miss a string of clues or ignore the obvious, it runs the risk of completely destroying the atmosphere you've been building by increasing the dramatic tension towards an event or encounter.  Sometimes the players just need a break from the tension and will send their characters out for a night on the town, go interviewing NPC's you didn't think of when you envisioned how they were going to find the "Cannibal Killer" or just plain do something you never expected.  In many cases, these sidetracks involve NPC's.  Whether it means interviewing the guy at the Oriental Market on 5th Street, hiding out in a crowd of revelers at a Cinco de Mayo fiesta, or hanging out in the club where the killer stalks his/her/its victims, you may very quickly find yourself in serious need of some generic NPC's.  In case your game of choice uses different terminology, here I use the term NPC to mean "non-player character" or a character that you, as gamemaster (again, an arbitrary term), control.

Personally, I like all of my NPC's to have personality.  I don't like the party wandering through a scene filled with cardboard cut-out throwaways.  Sometimes, I introduce an NPC on the fly that I think I'll never use again, and the party likes him, or keeps going back to him for information, or just enjoys torturing the shit out of the guy for some perverse reason.

Over the years, I've come up with a system of organization... actually, system is FAR too generous a term for what this is.  This is more like... a mnemonic NPC's for dummies device that still helps me to categorize my NPC's and select the right type of personality out of my head for a given situation.  I like to call it:

Selling Them the Farm

A Guide to Growing NPC's With Personality

Let's talk about farm animals.  No, not in THAT way, you sick bastard!  I'm talking about taking some cues from George Orwell and thinking of NPC's as farm animals.  If we classify some basic NPC types into farm animal categories, it helps us pull up the right personality when the need arises.  Yes, there are a ton of stereotypes here, but my NPC's have never organized a protest or uprising about it.  Here are some of the NPC animals on my farm:

• Cows:  Correctly or not, we often see cows as dumb, slow creatures.  The Cow NPC may not be dumb at all, but he/she is deliberate.  The Cow NPC is a thinker who takes time to make decisions and often can, through inactivity, stand in the way of the players when decisive action is needed.  An example of the Cow NPC is the small-town bureaucrat who has to consider how he will look to his voters before cooperating, or even hindering the party; in a crowd scene, the Cow NPC may be rooted to the spot by indecision on whether to run, hide, fight, or shit her pants.  That latter may happen no matter what, but the Cow NPC may have to be rescued (or not) by the players as she just stands there, despite any apparent danger.  She may even be clueless as to the existence of said danger.  Alternatively, Cow NPC's may also be the oblivious fans at a concert who don't know enough to get out of the party's way when they are chasing the villain or his henchmen through the club.  They may also object to being violently shoved out of the way by the party and resolutely stand their ground, ignoring prudence or common sense.

• Bulls:  Bull NPC's often charge through their scenes with little or no seeming regard to the consequences.  This may or may not be stupidity.  It may just be that taking the direct approach is the only way the Bull NPC knows how to handle himself.  Quite the opposite of Cows, Bulls waste no time making decisions, often making them before they have all the facts about a given situation.  A Bull NPC may think nothing about making unfounded accusations against the party ("Them Zombies didn't start showin' up until you folks came around!") or rushing off to deal with something that is totally out of his league.  Another example of a Bull NPC could be the business magnate who attempts to run the Villain's upstart company out of business, without bothering to learn that in every town t which the company has expanded, people who've tried that have gone missing.  In a crowd scene, the overconfident Bull is likely to charge the villain, causing the party to have to consider the option of saving him, or the Bull may try to organize the crowd to mount an impromptu defense.  Which leads to:

• Sheep:  Sheep NPC's are characters that follow directions without question, often en masse.  The starry-eyed teenaged groupies that practically worship the villainous lead singer of a Vampiric band are an example of Sheep NPC's.  Congregants who blindly adhere to the tenets of of a cult despite the disappearances of their friends and family members are Sheep NPC's.  On the other hand, a group of thugs who will do anything their gang leader says to avoid looking weak, or an elite fighting unit who believe they are doing the right thing by enforcing all of their tyrannical commander's draconian laws are also Sheep NPC's.  Also, Sheep don't have to be found in groups.  Sheep make great Vampiric thralls.  A lone sheep could attempt to seduce or murder a party member at the behest of her master.  In a crowd scene, the Sheep NPC's are either obediently doing whatever the most charismatic and in-control character tells them, or are fleeing en masse towards the most obvious exit or point of safety.  In such scenes, a large group of Sheep NPC's can serve to block an escape route or obscure lines of fire.  Or they could just make the possibility of civilian casualties go through the roof.  Which brings us to:

• Lambs:  It's an old cliche, but "like lambs to the slaughter" is a universal phrase.  Sometimes it might be  necessary to turn Sheep NPC's into Lambs.  That group running for the exit?  They just happen to be right in front of it when the grenade meant for the party rolls through that door.  A potential Lamb NPC might also be alone.  He may be that small child that that will die if the party chases down the villain instead of pulling him off the edge of the cliff.  Generally, I look at any NPC that exists only to die (or potentially die) a horrible death, or even suffer grievous injury in service of the story.  They work even better if you let players get comfortable, or better yet, emotionally close to them.  Let a character start dating Lamb NPC, or the mother of a Lamb.

• Chickens:  Chicken NPC's are scared of their shadows, or even overly pessimistic.  "There is never any hope" (Chicken Littles) or "We must abandon the town tonight" (Boneless Chickens) are statements made by Chicken NPC's.  An example of a Chicken NPC is the town elder who secretly sells out the party to their enemies in exchange for him agreeing to leave the town alone.  In crowd scenes, Chicken NPC's can be like Sheep NPC's but instead of having a sort of group mind, they scatter in all directions at once, seriously disrupting lines of fire and escape routes.  Chickens may cling to party members and beg to be saved, hanging on to them for dear life and restricting their movement.

• Hens:  Not really related to Chickens, Hen NPC's are the town gossips and rumormongers.  Hens are great sources of information for the party, but are just as likely to spread information back to their arch-nemesis just because they can't resist sharing a juicy piece of gossip... and maybe sowing a little creative discord.

• Roosters:  Again, not related to Chicken NPC's, Roosters are the dominant alphas in the NPC community.  A Rooster NPC may take control of a group of Sheep and create all kinds of havoc, sometimes causing the players to think that the Rooster is really the Villain, when he may just be a misguided high school quarterback encouraging his entourage to slip laxatives into the school milk supply just to have a little fun.  The local television newscaster can be a good example of a Rooster NPC.  The townsfolk respect him and will listen to him in a crisis situation, if only the party can convince him to broadcast the right news.

• Chicks:  I know.  This one is horribly sexist, but if it makes you feel any better, Chick NPC's can be male as well.  The Chick NPC is there are eye candy, or a potential dating pool, possibly to be later turned into a Lamb.  These NPC's can turn into an interesting distraction, or lead the party to other NPC's or hooks.  Think of the typical beautiful Chick that always seems to walk into the private dick's office with a problem in all those noir stories.  In a crowd scene, the Chick could be the hometown hero (former football star turned war hero turned local boy who made good) that the party convinces to calm the Sheep before tragedy strikes.  Chicks can be self-sufficient like the prior example, or helpless potential Lambs.  Whatever it is, there is something about the Chick that the party finds irresistible.  They just feel compelled to love and/or protect the Chick.  Cute kids can also be used as Chick NPC's.  Kids say the damnedest things and the Chick could be that adorable and informative NPC that the party just wants to protect, and pinch his cheeks.

• Pigs:  I hate to upset the pork farmers, but when I say Pig NPC's I mean NPC's with less than stellar ulterior motives.  The Pig  NPC may be a corrupt mayor who is willing to sell out his constituency to allow the Villain to run a highway right through the middle of town, in exchange for some compensation or course.  The Pig NPC almost always is more than just misguided.  He is filled with questionable morals and shady ideas.  In a crowd scene, the Pig NPC wants to do whatever it takes to ensure his personal safety or benefit, no matter what happens to everybody else.  He may take control of the Sheep and use them as human shields, or at least hide among them to make sure that he gets on the first lifeboat.

• Donkeys/Jackasses:  The Donkey NPC, or Jackass if you prefer, just seems to act out of spite, usually towards the party.  This NPC just seems to have some kind of vendetta out for the party, a chip on his shoulder, or some grudge.  He isn't the villain, just a minor (or possibly major) annoyance, that seems to show up at disadvantageous times for the party.  He takes offense when the party phrases a question the wrong way during an investigation.  The NPC that one of the characters is dating may be the ex-boyfriend of a Jackass NPC.  She may later show up to embarrass this character publicly, or pay a Sheep NPC to slash her tires.  The stubborn Jackass NPC may show up in a crowd scene with a group of Sheep and try to prevent the party from escaping, possibly turning into a potential Lamb NPC when the Super Villain shows up and the Jackass is trapped between the party and their nemesis.  Will the party save this annoying NPC or let her death buy them some time to escape.

• Goats:  Goats are the downtrodden of the NPC world.  Often misunderstood or misrepresented, Goat NPC's always seem to be taking the blame when something goes wrong, or taking the fall when an unthinking Bull, a careless Rooster, or spiteful Jackass needs someone to go down in his place.  Goat NPC's can be lovable losers, or they can bring all their misery on themselves and deserve everything they get.  An example of a Goat NPC is the town drunk who gets hauled in as a precaution anytime the local sheriff even smells a misdemeanor.  Another Goat may be the spooky old man who lives in the creepy house on top of the hill.  The local kids are always telling stories about how he cooked and ate his family, but they were really all killed by the game's Villain, even though nobody believes him.  In a crowd scene, the Goat may end up being used as a human shield by the Jackass who was is now trapped between the Villain and the party.

• Horses:  These reliable NPC's are the ones the players will end up turning to time and time again to help them when the chips are down.  These Horse NPC's often help pull the story along, sometimes dragging the party forward by providing clues, information, resources, etc.  These horses are often likable (to get the players to remember them and want to go back to them), but can be snarky and have a superiority complex ("Don't yell at me, Wilbur.  I'm not your wife." - Mr. Ed), but have something that the party needs or wants that keep them coming back for more.  Horses are usually reliable and some can be used to assist the party, even in a fight.  These horses can be useful allies in crowd scenes, such as the likable grocery store manager the players enlist to help them lead the Sheep to safety before the villain arrives.

That's my stable of NPC's.  Or my barn, whatever.  I hope you find this helpful when trying to come up with NPC's that you can use to keep your game interesting and on-track (or at least interestingly off-track).  Let me know what you think.  If you have any more animals for the NPC Farm, let me know that as well.

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Fear Itself

What scares you?

There it is.  I asked the question.  I want an answer.  What scares you?  I don't mean having your cell phone battery die so that you can't get your text messages.  I don't mean realizing you forgot where you put your car keys last night.

What scares you?  I mean "makes you wake up in the middle of the night bathed in cold sweat, fumbling for a light switch' scared.  I mean "making chocolate in your trousers" scared.  I'm talking public speaking scared.  What does that for you?

"The oldest and strongest emotion of mankind is fear, and the oldest and strongest kind of fear is fear of the unknown."
          - H.P. Lovecraft

Since I've started trying to write down my ideas and force them to coalesce into semi-coherent form on this survival horror rpg I'm working on, this is one of the questions I've been asking myself:  "Self, what scares you?" More importantly, I've started asking, "Why does that scare you?"

Looking at lists of the most common fears, the same things seem to pop up on most of them.  On further contemplation, most of the things on those lists also seem to have one of two things in common:

• Loss of Control - Many common phobias are based on the loss of control over ourselves or our surroundings.  Flying is one of my greatest fears.   Sure, I've done it a few times.  I flew out to Las Vegas last August for a video game conference.  I arrived there safely and I arrived home safely.  However, I was terrified the entire time.  Hell, I was terrified for weeks before I got on the plane.  While in Vegas, I tried to think of ways to not have to fly home.  Every bump.  Every noise.  Every unexpected movement of the plane caused me to panic.  Of course, I had to build walls around that fear so that it wasn't debilitating, but it was there inside me the entire time.  I know, everybody tells me that I'm much more likely to die in a car accident, but when I drive, I feel more in control.  I don't like trusting my fate to machines that may or may not be in good repair (or to the mechanics that work on them), or to pilots who may not be having a good day.  Fear of the unknown definitely plays into the feeling of not being in control, because we have no idea what to expect.

• Isolation - Fears like Agoraphobia (not angoraphobia - I think that's fear of sweaters, or rabbits, or rabbits wearing sweaters) and Claustrophobia are, at heart, fears of isolation.  Even though an agoraphobe might be in a wide open, crowded space, he still feels isolated, alone, and unable to escape.  We feel stronger in numbers.  We feel safer when someone has our back.

Even if we are not directly scared of the these things (loss of control or isolation), I believe it safe to say that your fears are heighten when you are isolated and/or not in control.  For example, allow me to magnify my fear of flying for your entertainment.  This is a synopsis of a scene I wrote earlier today:

• I am on an airplane.  This is the first level of my fear.  I am terrified of flying, so this is one of my basic fears.
• The reason I am flying is that I had to rush home to be with my dying mother.  This adds the stressor of having to take an emergency trip and the emotional element of potentially losing my sick mother.  Since she has, in reality, been sick off and on over the past few years, this makes it more personal.
• I wake up suddenly during the flight and cannot remember having fallen asleep, nor can I immediately remember where I am.  Now I combine my root fear with the sense of helplessness that comes with suddenly startling awake in an unfamiliar setting.  As I wake up, I become reacquainted with the knowledge of the reasons behind the situation, making the fear and stress more fresh in my mind.
• As I regain awareness of my surroundings, I realize that I am alone on this airplane.  Now I am experiencing lack of control combined with isolation.  Also, this is where the element of unreality sets in.  Am I dreaming?  Where did everybody go?  And finally, who is flying the plane?

Did you feel that?  That's not even the actual scene.  That's just an outline of the major points.  That is a terrifying set of circumstances.  If I was in that situation, I think would immediately lose control of my bladder, at the very least.  In other words, I'd be so scared that I would probably piss myself.  And there wouldn't be a damn thing I could do about it.  But hey, at least there wouldn't be anyone else around to see it, right?  

I think that the best, the most terrifying horror fiction, whether it's novels, movies, or video games, tap into these themes to get under our skin and burrow deep into our fears.  Think about it.  What are some of the pieces of fiction that most effectively use these fears to scare the shit out of you?

Here is a list of what those are for me:

• I Am Legend - As far as Robert Neville knows, he is the last man alive.  I think that both the Richard Matheson novel and the movie adaptation both play upon our fear of isolation quite effectively.
• The Shining - Stephen King isolates the Torrance family by having them snowed in at an empty hotel.  Then Jack loses control as he falls under the influence of not only the supernatural entities, but his old mundane nemesis: alcoholism.
• It - Another King masterpiece.  A good portion of this book takes place when the protagonists are children.  And when children are victimized by monster clowns, nobody ever believes them.  This creates the isolation.  Besides, the fear of clowns all by itself is enough.  Especially if that clown is played, in the movie, by Tim Curry.
• The Mist - Does this prove that Stephen King does the fear of isolation better than anybody else?  This novella has long been one of the scariest things I've ever read.  The audio play, which in my opinion is even better than the excellent movie directed by Frank Darabont, is over the top.  If you haven't read this, go find a copy immediately.
• Under the Dome - Though not one of King's best novels, I think it is one of the best explorations of what happens when you take a group of people who have lived in close proximity of each other for years, tolerating each other and keeping up a nice facade because that is what we are supposed to do, and remove all of the reasons for them to play nice.  Isolation and lack of control all wrapped up in one nice little package.
• Alien - This Ridley Scott film was way ahead of its time.  Isolation?  We're in space.  It doesn't get any more isolated than that.
• Dead Space - In the tradition of the Alien movies, this video game again isolates us in the depths of space, taking the protagonist, engineer Isaac Clarke, out of his element and making him fight strange zombie-like aliens.
• Bioshock - From the moment I arrived in this video game's underwater anti-utopia or Rapture, I was strapped onto a fear roller coaster.  As the protagonist, Jack, we are isolated in the once-beautiful underwater city (being thousands of feet underwater is almost as isolated as being in space - have you ever seen The Abyss?) and we eventually realize that we are not in control ("Would you kindly...").
• The Silent Hill Series - With at least 7 video games and a movie so far, this franchise almost writes the book on scaring you through isolating you, disorienting you, and taking away your control.  The protagonists usually become aware of their surroundings after some strange event that leaves them searching for someone that they love.  They enter the mysterious town of Silent Hill, or at least its surrounding environs, and immediately become cut off from the rest of the world.  There is a persistent mist everywhere that limits vision and increases the otherworldly feeling of isolation.  This franchise makes it an art form.  I can only hope that Alan Wake, due out soon for the XBox 360, comes remotely close to doing what Silent Hill has been doing for years.

So, what scares you?  Is it spiders(arachnophobia)?  Snakes(ophidiophobia)?  Vomiting(emetophobia)?  Snakes that vomit out thousands of scurrying, hairy little baby spiders?  Sit down next to me and tell me your fears...

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A Geekcentric Guide to Twitter

Since I started using Twitter again about a month ago, a bunch of people (and when I say a bunch, I mean a staggering 3 or 4 people at least) have been asking me questions about it.  After I got past the obvious ones, like "Why in hell are your tweets so boring?" I actually got down to some good questions about the nuts and bolts of using Twitter.

I actually had a Twitter account a few years ago and found it incredibly annoying and practically useless.  First, the format as a pain in the ass.  I had to say something meaningful in how many characters?  To quote a friend of mine (bitemeNsuckit - you should follow her, she's wicked funny and is going to be a great Twit once she gets used to it) who just joined Twitter, "I have more characters than that in my head."  My other huge failing was not following the right people.  "Wait" you say, "There are 'wrong' people to follow?"  Yes.  There are wrong people to follow.  There are also wrong reasons to follow people.  The person who lays out some of those wrong reasons better than just about anybody else is Wil Wheaton.  He also mentions another of the dangers I ran into in my first Twitter-go-round.  I had the updates of everyone I was following sent to my cell phone as text messages.  My cell phone battery had an average daily life of about 3 minutes.  Actually, it was about 4 hours, but you get the idea.  So, my first venture as a Twit was doomed to fail.  I stopped using it after only a few weeks.

This is where I take one for the team.  If you've never used Twitter, or barely used it and haven't really been able to "get into it," then LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, BOYS AND GIRLS, STEP RIGHT UP and learn from my failures (and my successes).  I hereby present to you...

A GEEKCENTRIC GUIDE TO TWITTER

First off, if you have an Android, Blackberry or iPhone (my Tweapon of choice), you should find a good app that delivers your tweets not just to Twitter, but also to Facebook or whatever social networking platform you use.  I use TweetDeck and love it.  TweetDeck isn't perfect, for examply, it makes it a bit difficult to quickly look up your list of followers or followees.  So, I also have Twitteriffic on my phone for circumstances when I want to do something that TweetDeck doesn't do well.  For anything else, I just use the Twitter site.

As for the 140 character limit for each of your tweets, think of it as learning to write more concisely.  Challenge yourself to say things creatively, but please... PLEASE for the love of all that is holy, don't use so many abbreviations and/or "leetspeak" (if you don't know what that is, then I revoke your Geek credentials) that your tweets require a translator to read.  Also, you should use a link shortener to make your links fit into your tweets without using up all of your 140 characters.

That said, there are some necessary abbreviations, commands and acronyms you should learn.  Here are what I consider the bare minimum:

• @ - This directs your tweet "at" someone.
• RT - retweet.  If you like something that someone else tweeted, then by all means share it with your followers.  Just please remember to give credit where credit is due and attribute it to the original Twit.  The best way to do this is to preface it with RT @[original poster's name here].  That way, the original author knows that you found value or humor in what they tweeted and, most importantly, attributes their intellectual property to them.
• D or DM - direct message.  This is a private message that only you and the intended recipient receive.
• # - hash tag.  This is a meta tag used to group tweets about similar topics.  For example, you could hashtag any tweets about this blog as #geekcentricity.
• #FF - Follow Friday.  This is a Twitter meme where Twits share people that they enjoy following with others.  Fridays are a great time to recommend some of your favorite Twitterers to other people.

That leaves the biggest question of all:  Who am I supposed to follow on this thing?  This single question can make or break your Twitter experience.  The short answer is to find people you are interested in and follow them.  

If you're into shallow celebrities, then by all means follow Britney Spears,  Kim Kardashian, or Lady Gaga.  If that's your thing, then go right ahead.  I won't be joining you.

Since this is the Geek's Guide to Twitter, here are some suggestions of people for you to follow (in no order):

• Wil Wheaton - He's more than the guy who played Wesley Crusher and Gordy LaChance.  Actually, before you follow him, you should read why it will disappoint you. 
• Larry Hryb - XBox Live's Major Nelson.
• Grant Imahara - from Mythbusters.
• Kevin Smith - Yep, THAT Kevin Smith.
• John Kovalic - The cartoonist who writes/draws Dork Tower.
• Levar Burton - Another ST: TNG alum.
• Bill Amend - Writes/draws Fox Trot.
• Berin Kinsman - RPG blogger.
• Jane McGonigal - Game designer.
• Brent Spiner - Yet another ST: TNG alum.
• Neil Gaiman - Author.
• Stan Lee - Comic book genius.
• William Shatner - Actor from the original Star Trek.
• Leonard Nimoy - Another Star Trek cast member.
• Zachary Quinto - Different actor, different Star Trek.
• Sheldon Cooper - From Big Bang Theory.  Yes, he is a fictional character, but his tweets are hilarious.
• Johnn Four - From RoleplayingTips.com
• Steve Jackson Games - Venerable game company.
• Robin Laws - Gaming author.
• Gameplaywright - A gaming/writing site.
• Todd McFarlane - If you own action figures based on comic books, he probably designed them.
• Monte Cook - Writer, game designer.
• Jim Butcher - Author of the Dresden Files novels.

If you have any other Geekcentric names to add to this list, please let me know and I will edit the list.  My disclaimer here is that I don't follow all of the people above because I would suffer information overload and my brain would explode, spewing flaming chunks of my gray matter around for someone to clean up.  Also, there are other Geekcentric Twitterers that I follow, but I won't list them here without their permission, in order to save them from being flooded with followers.  If you really want to know who I follow, feel free to check in on me and follow my tweets.

I hope this helps you neophyte GeekTwits... or is that Tweeks?  If you have any more Twitter related questions, please ask.  In the near future, look for a Geekcentric Blog Reader, with some blogs I follow.  Until then, you can find many of them on the right sidebar.  Also, pt. 2 of my RPG building series is on tap soon.

I'll see you around the Twitterverse, my fellow Tweeks.  Yes, Twitterverse sounds as bad as Blogosphere.  Later.

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Laying the Cornerstone of Concept - Building an RPG, pt. 1

Let me go ahead and warn you now.  If you've never played a tabletop role-playing game, you may not be incredibly interested in this.  We can fix that.  Give me a call.  I'll get you playing in no time.  It's what's best really.  Join us.  Or go find something to do while we talk about gaming.  Don't worry.  I'll give you something tasty soon.  Go ahead and scurry off now.

Now that we're alone...

This is the first step in a potentially long walk off the proverbial short pier and into unknown waters.  There are things swimming down there.  Cold, slimy things with unnatural shapes.  Possibly dead things.  Waiting to get their hands on us.

I've been telling you that I wanted to write a tabletop role-playing game.  Before you stop me: I know.  I don't want to do it to become rich and famous.  I know that it isn't sitting on my ass all day, shaking the money tree.  I know that writing is hard work.  Believe me.  Why do I want to write an rpg?  I want to write an rpg because there is an rpg I want to play that hasn't, to the best of my knowledge, been written yet.  I want to write an rpg because I have a game in my head.  I know what I want out of a game and I haven't completely found it yet.  Sure, there are some games that come close, but nothing that wins the prize.  I know there isn't a perfect system or game.  I just want to write the game I want to play.

The crazy part is: I want to do a good bit of that process right here.  On Geekcentricity.  This post is the first in this ongoing series.  Expect more of them from time to time as things take shape.  Don't worry, my normal inane ramblings will continue.  This will be supplementary.  Think of it as a carrot, or an easter egg, for those of you that are tabletop gamers.  This first installment deals with concept.

The Concept

I'm a sucker for a good scare.  I wrote a book report in 2nd grade about The Amityville Horror  by Jay Anson.  Hoax or not, that book scared the shit out of me.  I've been hooked ever since.  Unfortunately, I've never found a horror game that gave me the best of what I loved about horror.  Call of Cthulhu is close, but too hopeless even for my taste.  Also, it's more cosmic in scale than what I am looking for.  The most popular horror role-playing games are probably the World of Darkness games published by White Wolf.  Their system is one of the best I've played.  The individual games however, are concerned with the player characters taking the roles of monsters.  Believe me, I know the whole "He who fights monsters" thing.  I think Hunter: the Vigil  is probably one of the closest concepts I've seen to what I want to do.

So, what is my concept?  The term that describes it most closely is borrowed from video games.  I want to write a survival horror  rpg.  Generally, I want it to be set in modern times, but I want it to be flexible enough to accommodate   settings from at least the middle ages up to the futuristic (a la Alien or Dead Space).  I want the characters to be ordinary people thrown into extraordinary circumstances.  The players won't be playing characters who have superpowers or sparkly vampire characters.  

I want  the characters to be isolated and surrounded by the unknown.  In the Silent Hill  series of video games (as well as the movie), the main characters always find themselves isolated with few, if any, friends or allies.  They are trapped in a small area with no known means of escape.  Visibility is limited by a thick fog or mist (also used in Ravenloft  and very effectively in Steven King's novella and subsequent movie, The Mist ).  They are constantly low on resources.  They are surrounded by mystery.  Many of the challenges they have to overcome are more than just physical tests.  There are many mental challenges as well.  To me, this world defines the survival horror genre.

Unfortunately, I need a concept statement that describes the game concisely, preferably in one sentence instead of a 5 paragraph essay.  This is the first challenge.  

How about this:

The player characters are ordinary people, cut off from the world they know and forced to live off their wits and survival skills in a world where all of their worst nightmares seem to have come to life.

There it is.  Let me know what you think.  Seriously.  I NEED CONSTRUCTIVE FEEDBACK, people.  Get to it, my minions.  Even if it's not your favorite genre, or even if you're not a gamer (GASP! Congratulations for making it this far), tell me what you think.

The next installment will talk about setting/synopsis.  I will attempt to elucidate upon the concept above.

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If I Had A Hammer... And A Blowtorch

So, I see that the bloom is off the rose.  That's right.  Wake up.  Wipe that crusty film out of your eyes.  See, I knew you'd fallen asleep.  I saw that you weren't reading here anymore.  Remember.  I have people watching you.

Actually, I don't blame you.  Things haven't been that exciting around here lately.  But I haven't abandoned this place.  I still come here and redecorate every now and then.  Sometimes with a chainsaw and a blowtorch.  Today, I just have a hammer and a paintbrush.  I'm not knocking any walls down yet.  I'm just giving you something fresh to look at.  You'd just better hope I don't catch you sleeping again.  I swing a mean hammer (though not as mean as Annie Wilkes).

There have been some decidedly Non-Geekcentric developments this week that have taken me away from here.  Unfortunately, none of them included Kathy Bates with a sledgehammer.  Because that's what I need.  I need some crazy bitch with a big-ass hammer to kidnap me, tie me to a computer, and force me to write.  There's no making excuses when that hammer starts swinging ("Now that's an oogie mess").

The truth is, I have actually been creative over the last few days.  I haven't stopped writing.  A lot of the writing has just gone into my head or onto the Notepad app in my iPhone.  I have also been brainstorming.  Or at least braindrizzling.  The thankless day job has just sapped a lot of my energy and brainpower lately.  Which reminds me...  You should definitely check out Chuck Wendig's post over at Terrible Minds today.  He speaks the truth. Aye, verily so.

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Ding! Another Level In Blog Posting

Happy Tax Day to all you Epic Procrastinators out there!  Me?  I would never wait until the last minute to do something so incredibly important...

I just finished filing my taxes.  Hey, it's not last minute.  I had until midnight.  That leaves me at least 14 hours ahead of the game.  So, I win.  I level up in Tax: The Frustration.  Wait... They don't give XP for that sort of thing?  Well, they should.

Actually, in the "If Life Were More Like Games" category (which would sure help Jane McGonigal realize her dreams for gamer productivity in society), I think more of our gadgets should be like my GPS.

My wife bought me a GPS for Christmas this past year.  Since, like all geeks, I have always been fascinated with technology of pretty much any kind (she bought me a weather station a few years ago), she thought this would be a great gift.  It was.  I use it every day.  I even have it running when I drive to work, a route which I'm pretty sure I could drive in my sleep, or to the grocery store two miles from my house.  Really, who knows when I might need to detour around a loose herd of water buffaloes that wandered into the road or something.  For that, the GPS would come in really handy.

A few months ago, we went to Florida in a rental truck to clean out my mother-in-law's house (she passed away last year as a part of our "2009: The Year From Hell" celebration).  We made a little nest in back for the dog (which he never used, as he wanted to see everything, so he stayed up front, wore sunglasses, and slept between the seats) and plugged in the trusty GPS for the 500+ mile trip.  Of course, the trip was one we've made hundreds of times over the past 20 years or so, but I had never used the GPS to plug in an actual route and have it direct me from the mythical point A to the equally legendary point B.  So, we plugged in the GPS and off we went.

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System Failure

I have to warn you.  This post is rpg-centric.

As I've mentioned previously, I started playing Dungeons & Dragons at a fairly young age.  Though I did make brief forays into other systems (Star Frontiers, Gamma World, Top Secret & Twilight 2000 come to mind), for many years, I never really seemed to break out of that d20 based swords & sorcery fantasy setting as far as gaming was concerned.  I was stuck.  When d20 Modern was released, I did run a lengthy game in that system, so while I had departed from the genre I was used to, I was still stuck in that system rut.

A friend of mine had been trying to get me to try the storyteller system from White Wolf for years, but I resisted.  Violently.  I stubbornly stayed away from it for years.  I was far too cynical and jaded from reading years of "my system is better than yours" rubbish on forums and message boards all over the web.  I was wise to the "kind of people" who I had heard played that World of Darkness stuff.  I was stubborn.  I was judgemental.

I was wrong.

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The Encumbrance of Ethereal Lycanthropy

One day, many years ago, actually it must have been almost 20 years ago (yes, I'm old as hell, now get off my lawn!), my wife and I were in the middle of an extremely long drive home (and we may have only been dating at the time) from visiting her family when we decided to play a little game.  It was just one of those silly little games parents often used to play with kids to stave off boredom on long drives.  Except we didn't have kids.  We were just trying to keep each other awake and alert on the long drive, and maybe keep our own boredom at bay.

DISCLAIMER: Because I'm old as hell, this was in the days before mp3 players and handheld gaming systems. Our first car didn't even have a CD player, so we were at the mercy of whatever radio stations we could pick up along the way.  Or the passenger could read to the driver.  Or we could play games.

I don't know the name of the game we played that day, but I remember the rules.  It might have been called "Picnic."  The first player started by saying, "I'm going on a picnic and I'm bringing along a(n):" and then named an object that started with the letter "A."  The next player repeated the phrase, along with the first player's "A" object and then added one starting with "B" and so on.  So, the fifth turn might sound something like, "I'm going on a picnic and I'm bringing along an abacus, a banana, a cucumber, a dalmation, and an.... ummmm.... elephant."  The game was won when the other player forgot one of your items or couldn't come up with an item that started with the appropriate letter.  If you've never tried it, trust me.  "Q" is a bitch.

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Turning the Valve

Welcome back, dear reader.  Come on in.  Sit right down.  I'd like to tell you a story.

Come closer.  There, that's it.  Right there.

Once upon a time, there was a wandering minstrel.  Okay, so he wasn't exactly a wandering minstrel.  He was actually a poor laborer who toiled in the fields, reaping the fruits of the earth for only a pittance, loading up wagons of rich produce for the nobles of the land to enjoy.

But in his head, he was a wandering minstrel.  While he toiled in the fields, he would invent stories, poems, songs, fanciful tales to deliver to breathless audiences gathered at the tavern of whatever town he was in, or even the halls of nobility and royals.  In his fancies, the people who hung on his every word bought him his food, paid for his room at the inn.  He always left town with enough gold in his pouch to last him for months.

For a long time, Joe the Peasant never told anyone of his secret dream of becoming Joe the Bard.  You see, if he told people, they might laugh.  They might mock him for his foolishness.  Maybe even pelt him with veggies and tell him to get back to work.  They would ridicule him into keeping with the status quo.

For many years, he kept his fanciful dreams and wild imaginings to himself.  One day, while eating dinner, he choked on a piece of food and died.

The End

(roll credits)

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Super Size It! A Tale of Electronic Devices and Theme Parks

This seems to be the week for larger versions of popular technology.

This past Sunday, Nintendo launched the DSi XL, an oversize version of the DSi.  It has exactly the same features as the DSi and exactly the same look, just... bigger.

Today is the launch of the iPhone XL, also known as the iPad (except you can't make calls with it, so I guess it's more like an oversize iPod Touch).  Is it a giant iPod or is it a netbook-sized tablet PC?  I am firmly in the giant iPod camp.  It is definitely not a technological feminine hygiene product (though I tried to say those last three words once and it came out as "Feminine Hygiene Project" which I still think would be the coolest band name ever).

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Finally... An Actual Post About HDR Photography

Not that you were eagerly awaiting it, but on a couple of different occasions I've tried to write about my interest in, and the general awesomeness of, HDR photography.  During the first attempt, I was beaten over the head with a broken PS3.  The second time, the great owl god swooped in and pecked my eyes out as punishment for the murder of one of his subjects.

Or, I just got sidetracked.

This time, in honor of April Fools' Day (which I abhor), I present you with something serious.  Oh, the irony...

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